Get her OUT! Pa' FUERA!

She was late. One week late. I was antsy, naturally. Then one morning at about 9am, I woke up and noticed blood. My husband had already been at work, so I phoned him to come home. I calmly got myself together, figured I was good since contractions hadn’t started. I tried staying calm, but my entire life as I knew it was about to change. Once that baby was out, things would never be the same.

 I initially thought that my water had broken, I was wrong. Then I thought that she would be out that same day, I was wrong. Wrong. Wrong. Wrong.

Like many women, I had this grand plan. It looked something like this:

1-Water breaks, eat a nice breakfast, and then head to hospital.

2- Bring book to read since things can take longer than expected.

3- Bring camera for pictures.

4- No epidural. Champ it.

5- Establish focal point.

6-Practice breathing.

So on and so forth. Like many things in my life, those plans went out the window! The actual events looked more like this:

1- Arrived at the hospital, stripped, dressed and hooked up to an IV full of fluids.

2- Laid in bed and was told not to move much b/c of bleeding.

3- Checked for dilation. Wasn’t making much progress and was told that my water had not broken.

4- Checked on again and given medication to help dilate. (Said medication is to be inserted and left inside for 6 hours.) This happened at around 11am. Was told not to move for 2 hours as whatever device was placed needed to remain in tact for a while before I could move. Was told to be careful or said device can fall out. Also told to check for an indicator string that will let me know stuff is still in there.

5- Two hours later I was checked. Was dilating fine and allowed to pee. (Most awful feeling, being pregnant, on fluids, and having to hold your pee for two hours.)

6- Back and forth to bathroom fine. All of a sudden no string.

7- Different nurse comes in offering my husband some food. He accepts and tells her that we don’t see the string any more. (This is now at around 3pm.) “How long has it been in?” she asked. “Over two hours, but we don’t see the string,” we replied. She told us that we were fine and that she would alert our nurse.

8- An hour or so later our nurse comes in to check the medication. She asks what happened as she couldn’t find the string. We tell her that we alerted the other nurse. After a brief explanation of what happened and a description of said nurse, we learn that the lady was NOT a nurse, but a tech who was not qualified to tell us that we were fine. We also find out that because the medication fell out and was out for a few hours, it couldn’t properly do its job of helping me dilate.

Can you see where I’m headed here? Maybe? Sort of? We were furious. All of those hours thinking we were dilating and nothing. After that debacle, my OB came in and broke my water in an effort to help move things along. (For the record, that was one trippy experience. You will know when your water breaks!) The contractions came. The epidural went in. (God bless those that opt NOT to have it.) We waited and waited. No baby. She wouldn’t descend. After 30+ hours of labor and a shift change for both doctors and nurses, my lovely daughter decided to poop while hanging out in the womb. No bueno. She had to come out, fast! “Get her out!” Were my exact words to the doctor.

One emergency c-section later, my 9lb 6oz bundle of joy graced the world with her presence. She would teach me early on that some things simply cannot be planned.